Need to edit from page 5- Participants observations through pg 11 Discussion.
Here are the suggestions from my professor on what to edit or change
1.Use research questions as the guiding and organizing framework. You’re asking some pertinent questions but they are not reflected in the paper. The overall tone of the paper is descriptive (the event, the agenda, the participants). Some of those details are important, but the paper needs to be more analytical. For example, How did participants answer those questions? What similarities and differences in their answers could you glean? Why?
2.It needs to be more explicit about connecting this research to anthropological concepts. You raise some interesting points in the conclusion, but it’ll be more beneficial to weave those concepts throughout the paper.
3. Finally, the references could better inform the discussion, explain how they support the points and make their voice visible.
Use the same references